TOPIC:

Your Mental Health

Know and Express Your Feelings

Cancer treatments evoke a wide variety of emotions, some of which you may not have felt before. When emotions are expressed in a healthy way, everyone benefits. Your journey fighting cancer can result in better communication and mental health for you and your loved ones.  

Tell Others What You Need

Your friends and family are not psychic. They want to help but often do not know what to do or say, what not to do or say, or how to do and say things in the most supportive way. Guide them in the best ways to meet your needs.  

Make statements to close friends and family about what you need. You can say things like, "It would help me if you would ..." or “It would help me if you would say…” 

In private, respectfully tell people what NOT to do or say, and what TO do or say instead.

You can make statements that start," I would feel better if instead of… (what the person is saying or doing) ... you would...” (what you wish the person would say or do.")   

Tell your Team how you feel. ALL feelings are acceptable. You will likely have feelings that change from despair to hope and from fear to courage and everything in between. You may experience unfamiliar emotions and your emotional states might change more quickly than usual. That is all normal while you are in treatment and when you are recovering. 

When you accept and express your feelings to a trusted person, you may experience a sense of relief and may be better able to heal and move on from a feeling that was draining you. Let your trusted friend or family member know that they do not need to DO anything when you tell them about how you feel. They can just listen and be supportive. Remember that it is all right to feel badly even if people do not know how to respond.

Cancer treatments can cause you to experience feelings of aloneness or isolation. If you feel this way or become depressed or very anxious, tell your doctor right away. These feelings can be a “side effect” of cancer treatment, and are NOT character flaws or weakness.

 You could try visiting a support group meeting of other cancer patients or family members and see if that helps. Visit the American Cancer Society website or call them to find in-person or virtual groups that you can access.  

Help Others Help You

People want to help you so let them. Keep paper and pencil near your phone or on the frig. Always keep it in the same place so you can find it Every time you think about something you wish you could do or want to have done, write it on the list. When someone says, “I wish there was something I could do to help," get your list and let them choose something.  

Consider making an email list of friends and family who are walking this path with you or ask someone to help you create a list. Send out email updates (or give the information to someone who can manage your email list for you.) Talk about how your treatment is progressing and what you need. This prevents you from having to repeat your “story" over and over again.  It helps accurate information to go to everyone at the same time. It helps you stay connected with people who care and lets people know what you need. Be sure to tell people whether or not you want your condition to be mentioned to others or on social media.